1. marikmarik:

There’s no difference between the last two


I’m so straight for you.  Acknowledge my exisistence!     (I farted)

    marikmarik:

    There’s no difference between the last two

    I’m so straight for you. Acknowledge my exisistence! (I farted)

    (Source: ilovewhenugethurt, via tyleroakley)

  2. Redheads with money have ginger bread.

  3. Someone called me a pussy today. Well, I guess you are what you eat.

  4. The only way to a girl’s heart is through her boobs.

  5. Hey, Kay Jewelers. Guess what else… Every piss begins with pee.

  6. Tinder’s like P90X for your thumb.

  7. Lately we’ve been breaking down a lot of societal and geopolitical barriers, but I won’t be satisfied until I’m smoking weed on the Capitol steps with a gay North Korean couple.

  8. Just got a selfie from a blind chick.

    Just got a selfie from a blind chick.

  9. They’re doing a hip-hop version of Fantasia. It’s called Fantafrica.

  10. Last night someone wanted to play “Never Have I Ever.” Instead we played “Always Do I Always.” It was pretty awkward.